Fortune cookies again!

I had to take her to the doctor yesterday. It was Saturday and the only doctor who opened was pretty far away. We had to drive for one hour to get there. Meanwhile, my son had to go to get some Chinese dinner to go. This morning I saw a fortune cookie left on our dining table. I was not surprised but that was a kind of conclusion from what I wrote earlier. The cookie said,

...You are the controller of your destiny.

Bathroom and my wife

My wife got flu. She doesn't get sick easily, but when she does, she suffers pretty bad.
As I see her suffering, I almost said to her, "Honey, think about it. Everything passes. You won't be suffering in a couple of days. This moment will never come back. Let's enjoy this precious moment." But I couldn't say it. I thought about Job. When he got horrible sick, many of his friends visited him, and spoke to him. Some wanted to give encouragement, or some internal guidance of wisdom, I believe, with a pretty good intention. But they were not well received by Job. It is difficult, when you are in a midst of suffering, to receive words. So, what can I do?
Then I asked myself, "Are you enjoying this moment?" Of course it is not such a pleasant thing to see my wife suffering in a sickbed, coughing and throwing up. Am I myself really thinking that this moment will pass, it is so precious moment, I must enjoy this? Yes, I realized that this is my chance, as well as my challenge. The test is that how I can enjoy this moment. Of course by myself, there's no point to enjoy it. But if I use this moment to come closer to God even a little bit, then this moment will become unforgettable moment with God. I remember someone said to me, "When you see your wife suffering in a sickbed, instead of dwelling in a sad feeling, you should think of God, and pray; God, when you have been guiding this human history, how many times you have to see your children, especially those who loved you and pledged to follow you, having had to go through many sufferings? --not only being sick but also being hungry, and even being tortured and burned. How have you been feeling at those moments? How much your heart must have been painful and broken as their loving parent? And especially when they cried and anguished and complained, resented... how much your heart must have been broken?" When I prayed that way, then naturally, my difficult heart would be touched by God's heart, I would be liberated from my painful situation, and then genuine love and desire to comfort God would come out somewhere from the deep part of my inside. And I could enjoy such communion with God, which cannot happen so easily without being pushed into certain situation.
Therefore, there is a way to enjoy the most horrible moment. Of course, it is not automatic, it requires lot of our creativity, and you cannot do it for someone else. Therefore, as always, the only question is what I do. How do I respond to my life's situation with using my creativity.
So I thought about Job. He was in such agonized situation, but he never gave up, and finally his heart was liberated when he was touched by God's huge love and heart. But nobody else could do it for him. I am always amazed to see this point--that's why you are so precious to God, because you are the only one who can do that...

Bathroom at a camp: cold shower

I just finished taking shower at a camp. Oh my goodness. What an experience I had!
I don't necessarily like cold thing in general, especially cold shower.
But this camp shower, oh my goodness, is pretty cold. I had no choice anyway because I really needed to take shower, and this is the only shower available at this moment.
I exercised a little bit to get myself ready to jump in. And as I jumped myself into the shower, the word came out of my mouth, "Thank God!"
Then I realized, "Oh my goodness, that's right. I have to thank God." Then I started talking to God. "Thank you, God, I have a shower!--think about it, there are so many people who don't even have a luxury of taking shower; so many people who don't even have access to water itself; think of those who don't even have a security to live; those who suffer from diseases; And those people means my brothers and sisters in the same human family. Oh, my goodness. How can I so easily forget those brothers and sisters and live just by myself? I realized still there is amazing selfishness dwelling inside of me. I say with my mouth, "my brothers and sisters" but what about my real feeling in my heart? Then again, "Thank you, God, for letting me realize my still existing deep selfishness." If I am receiving something which many of my brothers and sisters are not receiving, how should I think about this? I am indebted to them. God is giving me these things for some reason. I need to take more responsibility from where I am to contribute to the cause of changing this world so that those brothers and sisters could welcome a day of liberation as soon as possible...
My conversation with God continued; shower didn't get warmer.
And look! Now my body is getting used to this water temperature, and I didn't feel initial challenge anymore. Thank God for creating my body like this. So amazing body's ability to adjust to the situation, it is so well made.
Then, look! when I finally finished shower, it was so warm! So nice feeling of warmth. I said, "Thank you God for this warmth!" Then I thought, "There are people in this world who cannot access this kind of warmth. How much I'm indebted to them. How much I need to work hard to bring them liberation."
Yes, everything passes. When you are in the midst of taking cold water, it is challenging, in a way. But it will not last forever. It will not even last more than 10 minutes. But, what I'm saying is not just persevere and wait for spring to come, but try to find God in the midst, and we should not miss that precious moment of having personal conversation with God, which we could never possibly do in the warm shower.
What I'm saying is that every moment is passing, that's why every moment is so precious. Every moment is a precious chance to use my creativity (creative nature) to literally create my memory with God, in other words, to create my true substantial self which exists forever.

Everything will pass (again)

Amazing thing is that I still exist here!
I didn't decide to come to this world. I didn't decide to survive at every critical moment in my life. The fact is that I find myself here. Somebody is causing my existence, something is supporting my existence. It is far beyond what I think.
And besides that, I do exist for a reason. This was not by accident. And for a good reason. The reason came out of love--genuine, true love. Therefore, the reason of my existence is in favor of me, my happiness.

And my life here in this world is limited. It is so precious time. Therefore, it is very natural for any human being to think about what the purpose of our life is, because it is so important thing for us to know. Time is limited, but it has a clear purpose which should be accomplished within a limited time.

And the purpose was the perfection of love. Through anything and everything that comes up to me, I am given a chance to create my true self (which is our true substance that exist forever) with my own effort, or participation, to think certain way, act certain way, and by doing so, I am creating my internal self, and hopefully to more and more, in a way, resembling who God is. As the scripture says, God created us in his image, after his likeness. And God alone cannot accomplish this work, he absolutely needs my cooperation to accomplish this task. Of course I myself can never accomplish this kind of thing, but only with the help of God, or working together with God, I am creating and molding myself together with God. How important each moment is! It is priceless. How can we waste our times complaining, lamenting and being depressed and wondering or wandering around. It is so unwise. Each moment is like the most precious diamond. I need to use it well.

Anyway, since it is given, it is a chance, nobody is going to check if I am doing a good job or not, nobody will bother you, it is totally up to me.

These thoughts just keep coming since I was driving by that particular place of my memory--my memory of having the worst flat tire experience after midnight. Amazing! Life is amazing. I shared these thoughts with my wife. She said that I became like a Buddha. Well, is it OK to become like a Buddha? I think so. He is one of God's great sons. He sacrificed a lot to show us the way how we can perceive the world and how we can get rid of our adherence to the limited, material world. Behind what great work he did was his deep love for God and humanity. So we are related in this love--selfless love coming from our common origin.

Everything will pass (continue...)

I was more amazed about this thought:
We recognize things with our "physical five senses." However, it has always been the topic of discussion what exactly we are recognizing. Is it substantial, or is it something like a shadow? As I realize that everything passes, I could say it is like a shadow from a perspective beyond the realm of "time". Our life is like a shadow, in that sense. It is something which never lasts forever (beyond time), but which passes. However, when we think about why this shadow-like life exists, then the conclusion which many sages have already reached is that it is for the sake of our life that continues forever (beyond time). This life, which is sometimes called "spiritual life" or "eternal life" is the real substance of our existence (this exists forever, beyond time and space). For the sake of the growth and maturity of our true self which exists forever, we are given this limited life with our physical body, surrounded by "substantial (well, of course, seemingly) material world, which we can recognize through our five physical senses. Think about who set up this "physical five senses" in us? Who set up this material world the way it can be perceived by us as the way we perceive (hot, cold, hard, soft, dark, bright, smells good, looks good, beautiful, ugly, round, square, painful, etc.) Now scientists are discovering clearer and clearer that the real existence of this world is of so much more empty space than we can imagine. Such as what exactly exists between different atoms and molecules, particles, etc. so much space, but we don't sense those space with our "physical senses" Thus, we come to realize that there is slight gap between the real existence of this world and how we perceive it through our five physical senses. Therefore, the question is who set us our physical senses which perceive things the way they do? And for what purpose did he do it? It is so interesting. It makes sense to me that God had a clear purpose in doing this.

In a way, therefore, our life is like a well-made computer game, in which we need to always react to the situation correctly. If we don't react correctly, things will not happen as desired and you need to pay the price for it. But, no matter how well-made a computer game is, it is just a game anyway. Our life is similar, but it is not a game and I am the one who is in the middle. In computer game, whatever I do, I am still someone who looks at it from outside. Whatever mistake I make, I still don't feel physical pain, and I can always quit or redo, I will not die. In our life, it is very similar to computer game, but the difference is I am in the game, and if I make mistake, I need to go through real pain, even I may have to die physically. But, now think, if our life is, like I said earlier, also like a shadow, which passes, and which is for the growth of our eternal self, it is still very much like computer game. We can keep our position to be someone who is outside. I mean, we may be able to look at our lives objectively even when we are the one who actually live it, and we may find ourselves free of any kind of pain or sorrow which we may experience in our lives.

I just realized I heard something similar before. This world is like a shadow. Everything is passing. Our problem is adhering to shadow as if it is substantial. This adherence is the very cause of all kind of pain and suffering of life. If I can gain perspective about the reality of our life, then we may reach to the level of being liberated from adherence to this mortal world and enter into a realm of freedom and liberation. Didn't Buddha talked like this?

Everything will pass... (in the car)

This happened when I was driving today.
There is one memorable spot on one particular street. One cold winter night around 1:00 am I suddenly got a flat tire. Bad thing was I didn't have any road service I had to fix it myself but the road was kind of slope and I had a very hard, painful time. Then a man from the house near the spot came out and gave me help. It was still difficult and I had a very bad piercing headache I felt like I was going to pass out. Finally with the help of a police, and road service guy, I could change tire and released from the place. It was almost 4:00 am.
Whenever I drove through that spot, that memory comes back. As I was driving through that spot today, one thought came..."everything passes..."
When I was going through that situation, I felt like this was the worst kind of hell. It was so painful and almost hopeless. I felt "I never want to go through this again!" But, now I am passing through that spot, and I can just remember that experience as something memorable, I mean, I can look at that experience "objectively". Then, I was kind of shocked. In that very moment of hell, I thought I never want this experience. But the fact is that experience didn't last. It passed and became part of my memory. It doesn't give me the same pain anymore. So, I realized that every painful experience will not last. It will pass. Therefore, the most important thing is how I go through such moment--with what kind of attitude I am experiencing such moment becomes very important in a long run. Even in the midst of such experience, if I could still think "this is going to pass" and thus manage to avoid getting overwhelmed by the negative thinking/emotion and "enjoy" the event with peaceful, positive and loving attitude, then that will add another victorious memory into my life record. Our life becomes accumulation of such victorious moments, and with that I will eventually move into the life of eternity (and enjoy it forever).

Anyway, the conclusion I got so far is: Everything will pass. Every pain will not last. Therefore, it is so important to have a right attitude when I am in the midst of it. That's what determines the quality of my life.

I have to admit that a revelation can come not only in the bathroom, but also in the car.

Yellow stains on the toilet seat

This morning again I found on a bathroom seat, some yellow stain. I have an idea about who did this. This person knows before doing #1 into the bowl, he has to put the seat up. But somehow he sometimes doesn't do it---maybe out of laziness or being tired.
Then I thought about this: We have rules in our human society. But what are those rules for? Rules are not for the sake of the rules, but it is to serve people's benefit. In other words, the rules are the expression of our love and care for the other people.
But somehow people may have forgotten about this and rules just became rules to follow. Those who follow the rules are generally considered as good, and those who don't follow the rules are considered bad. We start judging people by the rules, and rules became the burden to the people. And nobody pay attention to why these rules came out. It was love why rules came out, but we don't focus on developing love through observing the rules. This is kinda sad situation.
In order to encourage someone who doesn't want to follow the rule, it may not be an effective way to just scold and enforce the rule, but we may need to appeal to his/her conscience by letting him/her remind of where the rules came from.

Coughing in the bathroom

We recently have had a very severe cold weather throughout America. People arround me catches cold and recovers. Somehow, I have had slight coughing for a while, which persists for quite some time.
In the bathroom, I thought about this. Why my coughing doesn't go for a while? Here's what I got:
Maybe I am not appreciating this coughing enough. Whenever I get sick, I have to appreciate it. Whenever somebody gives me a hard time, I have to appreciate it. Why? It is because I may not deserve such harsh treatment. I may not have done any specific bad things that caused my sickness, or my being hurt by people. However, maybe somebody related to me such as my ancestors may have done something wrong, and that has been causing him/her to have to suffer in the other world. If I receive this attack with grateful mind, then this may help them to be in better situation over there, because I received beatings for them with gratitude.
Therefore, this moment is so important. I do have my free will to choose to be grateful, and if I choose that way, that could help somebody to be in better situation. Of course it is my choice. If I don't choose that way, then basically nothing changes, and I may go through the pain anyway.
When I think that nothing happens by chance, God must be paying attention to how I respond to each moment's happening. I am the one to make that moment shining. This is a chance given to me by God. At leaset I lose nothing by being grateful.
Therefore, the conclusion in the bathroom was that I need to appreciate this coughing more, using this chance to enlarge my mind to care about my ancestors, and care about God.

Moment and the bathroom

I heard some people spoke about the fearfulness of a moment:
Those who don't take one moment seriously will lose something very extraordinary. Always great people are those who took one moment seriously. One single word I say, one single action I take, or even one single thought I entertain in my mind would have their consequence. Victory or defeat is not determined in the course of time, but in a moment. If I take each moment that seriously, that would change the quality of my daily life, as well as my lifestyle which is connected into my eternal life in the other world.
Let us not take each moment lightly. Let us not take things for granted. Let us not be indebted to those who already gave us a lot.