When you have to criticize someone...

If you have to criticize someone for any reason, first you need to have a clear understanding of what you are trying to criticize. It is because if you don't do that, the person who receives your criticism will have an impression of you not understanding what he says. Then, the criticism has no meaning because he will not take it seriously and then he will not accept it. Who would want to accept the advice from someone who seems to have wrong understanding about you?

Therefore, when you have to criticise someone, you have to criticise in the way the receiver of the criticism feels he is understood. Then that criticism might be taken as a proper advice, then that criticism becomes meaningful.

Sadly, we don't usually practice this way when we criticise others. We criticise not based on complete understanding of what he says, then our criticism will not be taken as seriously as we expect, but instead, it will give him very good reason to keep defending himself, making him more assured that he is right and you are wrong.

However, in order to have such criticism, you are required to have a deep sense of humility of truly trying to understand what that person says, and also why he says it. Many people act as if they are trying to understand the others through sincerely listening, but sadly, they, in fact, are not listening. This is because they already have their agenda set clearly, and no matter how they externally show they are trying to listen, they don't. They just "hear what they want to hear and disregard the rest..." What a difficult thing to have a true humility! and especially for those who have some kind of "conviction"