But it is still good to set a goal...

Setting goal may invite another challenge. But it is still good to set a goal than setting no goal and inviting no challenge. Whether I invite or not, challenge comes anyway. And if I am ready for the challenge, most likely I will overcome it and I can grow. The more challenges come, the more challenges I appreciate, then the broader my heart becomes, which would give me happiness, and happiness to my audience. And my audience is--God.
In fact, I am meant to grow a lot during my short lifetime. No time to waste. Anyway, God knows where I should go, and thus it is good to set a goal together with him. Then my goal is his goal and we together will enjoy the process of accomplishing the goal.
Life is so short, you must enjoy it. And there is a reason why this amazing opportunity of life is given to me. Blessing accompanies expectation, and responsibility. I owe so much to God, as well as to all mankind.

Challenge comes because of your Goal

When you set some goal, and proclaim it, challenge usually comes which would give you a very opposite experience of what you want to accomplish. Why is this?

1. One possibility: it is from God

This is the conversation from the movie, "Evan Almighty"

....This situation looks like an opportunity.

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient?

If they prayed for courage, does God give them courage, or does He give them the opportunity to be courageous?

If someone prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

2. Another possibility: it is from the "Devil"

The very opposite things from your proclaimed goal would happen inside of you, or inside of your group, so that you would be pushed to say, "I give up." This happens because your proclamation about the goal made the "Devil" really angry that he would challenge you to show him how much you are committed to the proclaimed goal. Thus, God has to allow this to happen so that you could truly show the proof that you are committed to the goal. Therefore, you could say it is from the "Devil" but in this case God is, in fact, behind him. This would surely serve you as a chance for you to clarify your motivation and attitude toward the proclaimed goal--Be careful not to get tricked by blaming something/somebody, but first thank God...

In either case, God would not be able to do certain things, and what you do would determine the consequence. According to what you do, God would be able to help you even to the degree of making miracles.

Trick: blaming without realizing it

I realized that one problem is that I am blaming something even without my being aware of it. But because blaming is against the universal law, we will naturally lose power when we do it. We will lose heavenly fortune when we do it. And the scary thing is that this happens without my realizing that I am, in fact, blaming something. This is kind of tricky, but I believe that realizing this situation would greatly help me live a better life.

Thank God for disappointment

When you get disappointed by someone, that is a good chance to reflect and think how much you might be disappointing God. It is also a good chance to humble yourself to think about the possibility of how you might be disappointing people around you through the way which you cannot even imagine.

You get disappointed when your expectation is not met. But you cannot just expect someone to give something to you without you giving something first. Thus, being disappointed is a chance to search and find out what you can give, or what you are supposed to give. Then repent that you did not give enough and then determine to give more.

Thus you don't need to be unhappy when you get disappointed. You have ability to make yourself happy, knowing that you are also making your audience happy. And your audience is---God.

Cain killed Abel

In Genesis 4:8, Cain kills his brother Abel.
In Cain, there was hatred toward Abel, thus he killed Abel. No matter what the situation is, the simple point was that there was hatred in Cain which caused him to kill Abel.

In Genesis 33:4, Esau was about to kill his brother Jacob, but he "ran to meet him (Jacob), and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him", and they wept. In Esau, there was hatred toward Jacob, but somehow something happened to that hatred and Esau did not kill Jacob.

In these two similar stories, similar point was there was hatred, and the different point was in Cain that hatred was not dealt with but in Esau that hatred was somehow dealt with.

Therefore, the problem is that there is hatred and what has to happen is that hatred has to be dealt with. No matter what kind of logical explanation is given to justify the situation of either Cain or Abel, the fact is the existence of the hatred, and as long as this hatred exists, every logic and explanation ends in vein. Therefore, we need to figure out the way how to deal with this hatred and how to eliminate it. It seems that God couldn't do anything about this part. Somehow God had to let them deal with this situation.

What I am saying is that you cannot just blame people for what they do to you no matter how unrighteous it might seem to be. You cannot ignore the fact that they hate you for some reason and that hatred might have caused them to do evil things to you. You need to reflect on what could have caused them to hate you. What was your part which you could (or must) make a change, so that you could cause to eliminate that hatred? Especially if it seems that God cannot do so much to change him during this situation, it is my part to make a change. Otherwise, you may win a battle, but what if you lose the war?

Thank God for snow!

It has been a pretty warm winter this year with not much snow till yesterday. Last night was a big snow storm warning...and yet, it's already stopped...

Since I began to think about our new mission statement, it has been a good time for reflection. I was very hungry at one moment. My wife didn't have time to cook and she just prepared for me an instant beef bowl. When I started to eat it, I felt so good. It tastes so good. Then I realized, wait, who am I eating this for?

My goal is that even a small action such as eating, or small action such as even breathing, I want to be able to do it with a clear idea of who I am doing that for, and of course naturally and genuinely. And the first "who" I want it to be God, naturally and genuinely. I find myself still long way to go. But, remember, I am the hero of the drama. And my audience is--God. For his joy, let me exist!

Thank God for religion (?) -- (5)

It is very important to be religious.

It is not very important whether I belong to some religious organization or not--whether I am a registered member of a certain religious organization or not. Some think as long as he is a member of this religious organization, he is guaranteed to go to Heaven. Anyway we will find out when we arrived in the other world. However, even before getting there we can examine whether I am to go to Heaven. (maybe need further discussion about this sometimes...)
The more important thing is what kind of life I am living--much more important than which religious group I belong to.

Some people want to belong to a certain religious organization because they want to "be saved." There is nothing wrong to want to "be saved." However, it is good to examine what it means to "be saved." (may need further discussion...) But one thing we need to be clear is our motivation: why do I want to be saved? For whose sake do I want to be saved? Is it for myself? Or, is it for God?

Thus, there are some people who belong to religious organization because they want to do the Will of God to build the Heaven (even at the cost of their lives) For those people it is more important to do the Will of God than to belong to a certain religious organization. For them what is their motivation? They may be interested in being saved but they may be more interested in saving God--or make God happy. They may want to exist for God instead of begging God to exist for them. Then they will be more interested in doing the Will of God than saying, "Lord, Lord, didn't I do this in your name? Didn't I do that in your name?" Why the Lord would have to say to them, "I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers!" (Matthew 7:23) while they are doing many things in God's name? This is a puzzling question, but when we try to focus on their motivation it makes more sense. It may not even be that the Lord judge them, but even before that it would be their conscience that would judge them, because our conscience always encourage us to live for others instead of wanting others to live for us.

Thank God for religion (?) -- (4)

I believe that religion is very important in human life.

However, those who belong to any religious organization must be aware of its (potential) problem, as someone pointed out by saying that the religion is an opium.
Religion (religious organization) tends to kill people in the name of God (or its high authority)
When it uses the name, God, they tend to lie (provide one information to convince its members of its authenticity but not provide--or intentionally hide--other information which might challenge that conviction)
It tends to create a culture in which people tend to justify what they do by saying, "Lord, Lord, I am doing this in your name, doing that in your name..." (however, for, in fact, their own benefit) and intentionally/unintentionally hides what their conscience would be telling them to do. Thus, it tends to deny honesty, sincerity, genuineness, authenticity, humility, eventually to become an institution which exists for its own benefit, by having leaders who will be in pursuit of power and money. The leaders would be learning in such process the effective workable mechanism of how to control the people by using the name of God and their faith in God.

These are, I believe, some mistakes which have been committed in many religious organization already. But how can you really be sure these things will never happen in your particular religious group? We, human being, are not perfect. We always need to be humble, and make effort to consult our conscience all the time. God is warning us even through the mouth of atheist what His people must be aware of so that they can truly be doing the Will of God.

Thank God for challenges (?) -- (2)

The time of challenges is also a good time to re-examine who I am --or, in other words, what is my motivation--what do I really want? Here the Bible says in Matthew 7:21...

"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter."

In a way, the "one who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' " could represent those who want to gain (receive/take) something from the Lord; while the "one who does the will of My Father" could represent those who want to give something to the Father. The former wants to receive and the latter wants to give. This is the two different kind of people; one being selfish and the other being selfless. Anyway, this is a very good barometer to check where I am.

Ask yourself, "Why am I saying to Him, 'Lord, Lord'? What's my reason? Do I want recognition from Him? Do I want appreciation? Do I want his sweet love?, or, Do I want to avoid being excommunicated by the church community if I don't call Him, 'Lord, Lord'? Do I want to be accepted by the people as a good member of this faith community, and then be able to live peacefully in this community? Do I want to stay in that 'comfort zone'?...etc."

Instead of wasting your time for doing those things above, it is much better to find out what truly is the will of the Father, and then just do it! Don't expect recognition. Don't expect appreciation. Don't worry about being excommunicated by the faith community by doing the will of the Father. God knows what you are doing, and especially He knows your heart. He will respond to you according to what kind of heart you have for Him. He knows who is a truly filial son, and He also knows who is not a truly filial son even though he thinks he is.

A sad thing about the faith community is if this lying, or deceiving (yourself!) becomes the part of the culture of the community, in spite of what they say with their mouth. This is one of the traps in so called "religion". In the name of God, religion could do astonishing evil, and religion has in its mechanism the way to make its people blind by using the name of "God" or the "Lord". Religious people must open their eyes, or open to what their conscience have to say to them, instead of deceiving themselves to just keep living "religious" life, which doesn't have the sense of honesty, authenticity, genuineness, humbleness/humility--all key element necessary to build a spiritually healthy life.

Thank God for challenges (?)

The times when you are receiving challenges are so very special.
The reason why we sometimes do not appreciate the challenges is that something is wrong with our value system. If we have a clear value system to value such a thing as "eternal happiness", "my getting closer to God's heart", or, "spiritual growth towards oneness with God", something of this kind, then challenges are, in general, something very precious to find these values. In other words, without "challenges", it would not be easy to gain these values.

Therefore, it totally depends on our mindset, value system, or internal attitude toward my life. Anyway, after all, what do you expect to gain out of your daily life? temporal stimulation, or something everlasting? The question is what do you really want? Even though you may have lived in a culture in which you are expected to hide something, pretend certain way, or anyway not to be honest and genuine, still you cannot deny that you do have your conscience which has such a clear standard of goodness. Only when you follow the standard which your conscience presents to you, you can truly be satisfied and happy. Oh, my God, really thank God for giving us such conscience!

Thank God for the value he gives to me

I realized lately that my value is determined by what I value.
Of course my value is absolute, in a way, because God created me. However, how much my value is realized/substantialized is not up to God, but up to me--is determined through what kind of life I live. And what kind of life I live is determined by what kind of things I value most.
We are given our freedom to choose what we value. We could value different things:
Some value money.
Some value power, or position of influence.
Some value knowledge.
Some value recognition, appreciation, or respect which they receive.
Or, like "popularity" among the people.
Look at young people; being "cool" seems to be widely valued among many youth.

Depending on this value system I respond or react to our environment/situation, and then create/build who we are out of what we go through. It may sound nothing special but I was so amused to find out that what I value will determine what kind of person I will be creating/building--while I am allowed to spend this limited "lifetime" on this earth--which is really "limited"!

So called "great people", such as Mother Teresa, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., etc. (not to mention about the Lord Jesus Christ) have become who they are by what they value in their daily life. Those who have ability to create heaven in the midst of the hell--how can they do that?--by what they value. Therefore, we can learn from our fellow human beings about our own potential--how I could also become somebody who I myself can respect and adore--opportunity is open to us all.

Therefore, our life is a chance.
It is an amazing opportunity which has an endless potential, depending so much on what choice I make out of my free will. My creativity counts.

Hatred blinds your ability to make a right judgment

I heard this somewhere in the Hae-shin (Sea God) movie. I feel this is very true. That's why we need to love our enemy, because if we keep hatred, you cannot see the truth and you will go the wrong way.
Of course it is not easy not to hate someone who knowingly cheats someone with a wrong reason and someone who is close to you receives the consequence. However, we need to figure out the way how to still not to hate that person. If God allowed that to happen, then we need to find out what kind of intention is behind it, what we should learn from it, and what kind of good change we can make out of it, etc. We need to even challenge God to find out what he wants to see happening out of this.

Loneliest place--can I thank God for that?

This is a so difficult question, and so many different answers possible.
God knows your heart
God knows your situation
There is a reason why God put you there
And you have your free will to figure out this puzzle
Someone who suffered the most might have the best answer to this question, which could help those who can relate to this question
It is because he might know the way how to appreciate the suffering and how to find the most precious thing in the midst of the suffering
But anyway, what other people does is just there to support you
And the most and the only important thing is how you use your free will to figure out this puzzle
God trusts you
That's why you are there.
Words, however, may not help when you are in the midst of that situation...
But still He is there, He is with you
He just cannot do certain things for some reason...
Just talk to your conscience...

Do not waste your time

By blaming someone, you are wasting your time
You are also fooling yourself
By accusing God for your destiny, you are wasting your time
You are also fooling yourself
Be indulging in lamentation, you are just wasting your energy
And you are fooling yourself
And hurting yourself

Better make up your mind
Accept what you have
And use your time to build your character that you could respect and adore.
That's the only way you would not regret

Don't get discouraged easily

If you hear only one side, it is so easy for you to get discouraged or disappointed. Always, tell yourself that what you are hearing is not everything. There is always the view from some other side to be considered. Don't limit yourself by thinking that you have a right to believe in only one thing. Come on! You are the lord of everything in the universe. Did you forget that? You are the hero of the most important movie in the human history. And your audience is--God.

Getting discouraged or not is up to you. You have your free will to choose, and ability to choose your way. Do not underestimate your ability to become happy. Do not believe that someone else has ability to make you happy or unhappy. Listening to and accepting a lie ending up hurting God is a crime. We must only listen to God, and show to the world who I belong to.

Don't just listen to one side story only

If you want to understand things correctly, don't just listen to one side story but always try to listen to the other side. Then, who knows, you may find something very different, and things start to make more sense.
Why I say this? It' because so many times I witness that people don't do this, and cause so much trouble and conflict, ending up everybody's unhappiness.
I simply need to have a humble attitude towards the truth. I need to be aware my limitation of recognizing the truth, as well as the limitation of the people (is spite of their good will often) to express the truth.

Try not to lie. If you start finding yourself lying without feeling any guilty in your conscience, then watch out! You may be going a wrong way. There is human culture in which lying is not allowed, as well as the culture in which lying is accepted with some method of justification. And it is not somebody else but you who are to create a certain culture. Therefore, no matter what kind of direction this world is heading for, we still have a hope--because of you!

Thank God for being misunderstood? -- (3)

Most simply, why do you feel hurt?--it is because you are "selfish"!
Imagine if you already have a mature mind or heart, then if someone tries to hurt you, it may not work because you will not be affected negatively.

Therefore, getting hurt is, in a way, a very precious chance for you to realize how selfish, or how immature you are, and to re-examine your internal behavior and improve it, which would surely benefit your future. After all, what is the reason of our unhappiness? It is often because of our selfishness and immaturity--which seeks to get something from others more than to give to others. When something you expect (even something like respect, appreciation, praise, understanding, consideration, care, fair treatment, justice, nice welcome, greeting, smile, hospitality, etc.) doesn't come, you may get hurt. Why? That's because you don't have a selfless, or mature mind/heart which seeks to give to others more than to get/receive something from others. We do more or less have this mind and it is the cause of our unhappiness. We need to work on that part, which our conscience usually tells us to do.

Thank God for being misunderstood? -- (2)

It is very easy to feel hurt when you feel you are misunderstood by someone.
Just be careful, though, not to be dwelling on your own feeling. When that person said something which may have hurt you, he usually do not mean to hurt you, or he usually have a certain good intention for you (such as to help you, advise you, encourage you, let you learn, let you grow, etc.), which should come from his good conscience. Do not forget to pay attention to that. Then you may find gratitude in that situation. However, we do have a tendency to dwell on our own feeling (victim mentality), and lose our precious chance to find higher level of love, relationship, and our potential. And instead we would be building a defensive wall around us. Watch out!
Before reacting according to your emotion, try to control your month, have a deep breath, and try to see from different perspective like above. Then, be happy!

Another point is that when you feel hurt, consider that as a very important moment to think about a possibility that you might be giving somebody around you such feeling without your being aware of it. People may not tell you when they get hurt by your word. Therefore, it is a good chance for you to think about that, which might help your betterment.

Thank God for religion (?) -- (3)

In fact, nobody can judge you.
Therefore, you don't need to worry about how people will judge you,
or even how God will judge you.
The only one fearful thing is that I am the one who judge myself.
My conscience is the only judge.
And my lifetime is the only one chance to live my life, or to create myself, using my free will and creativity.
How can I use every moment of my life to create myself well--that's the challenge, or "chance"
Therefore, it is good sometimes to watch drama. That might give you a stimulation to live well.
After all, this is the only one lifetime,
and you are the only one who can live your life, oh my God! It's so amazing!

Thank God for religion (?) -- (2)

Another problem of religion is that it is often used to "judge" people.
A teacher would say, "You must love God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." But who do you think you are to judge whether a person is loving God or not? He would say, "You don't need to follow those who don't love God." But are you saying that you are capable enough to judge if someone loves God and someone doesn't?" This type of judgment will just expose what kind of level of love are you in because we would judge people according to our own level. ("For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get...")
Therefore, instead of judging whether someone is loving God or not, we need to humbly learn better/deeper way to love and keep growing all the time. One expression of love is to follow someone or obey someone, but another way to express love could be not just following superficially but take responsibility to accomplish what the lord wants to accomplish... something like that. Therefore, it is always safe to consult with our conscience--in a way, think more about how God look at you than how people look at you.

Thank God for tough life

What can I say... life is tough...
In a way everyone is a pioneer of his/her life. You find yourself somewhere which no human being has ever been to. You are the very pioneer of that place. Your destiny is to make a beautiful flower out of what you have. That's where you will use your creativity, through which you will be "growing". Nobody else can do that but you. That's how important and precious you are. You are the only one in the universe who can do that. Sometimes we look around and compare what I have with what other people have, ending up complaining or being discouraged. But, no wasting time! You will be eating up your precious moment which could become a diamond.
That's why we cannot compare with others. God granted me what's the best for me to bear my fruit. The process to figure this out will also be the part of the drama of my life. Good thing is God loves me, and he will not give me something which He doesn't believe I can bear. I just need to be honest, sincere and stay communicating with my conscience.

Thank God for mistakes

Making mistakes is so important in our lives. Why?
* by making mistakes, I can learn a lot from it
* by making mistakes, I can understand what it's like to make a mistake, which would help me to have sympathy towards those who made mistakes
* and thus I may be of help to those who made similar mistakes
* by making mistakes, I can avoid to become overconfident/ or arrogant
* you may be representing those who made the same mistakes (and thus have been suffering the consequences--I'm talking about those who already have gone to the other world), so that they can be liberated through your overcoming the situation of having made the mistake
* that means, you are experiencing that mistake as an historic figure--as the hero of the movie--"My audience is God!"
* by pursuing through your conscience, you may eventually come to understand deep love of God who intentionally allowed you to be put in the situation to make such mistake for some particular purpose deriving from His eternal love for you

Anyway, when you realize you made a mistake, first thing you do is:
Say "Thank you God for this mistake." and then, try to have a deep breath...
...and then start to think and figure out how exactly you can be thankful for that. At least, you will lose nothing by thanking, but thanking usually will give you some extra energy to deal with the situation in a positive way.

Thank God for religion (?)

This is a tough one.
Of course there's no doubt that religion gives us a lot of benefit for our lives.
However, religion is horrible in so many ways...

Religion gives people reason to be self-righteous with (or without) being aware of his being self-righteous. Religion gives justification for him to do evil in the name of God/or love. Thus, people loses humility, sincerity, honesty, authenticity, and genuineness.
Religion justifies hatred, anger, blaming, demanding, etc. in the name of God/or love, and it takes away peace, happiness, basic trust, openness and generosity--these values which religion generally supports.

Of course, the problem is not religion itself, but people who tries to practice it. But religion is creating people to be that way. Therefore, we need to, at least, be aware of this kind of mechanism behind religion. I have a hope, though, that as long as people humbly kneel down before God with honesty to his conscience, then there is a way God can guide him to the right direction. Thus, always the problem is us--when we lack honesty and humility.

Thank God for being cheated

Cheating is not a right thing. That doesn't benefit people who are cheated. Moreover, that doesn't benefit those who cheat, either--even though it may seem to benefit them in a short term, never in a longer term, absolutely never in terms of eternity. History will judge what you do; you cannot escape from it; you will be humiliated not only by the people, but especially by your own self--your own conscience will never forgive you.

So many cheatings are going on, though, throughout the world. Worst ones are those done under the name of something beautiful--such as "righteousness", "goodness", and even "love"--so that the act of cheating is justified to be accepted as something which express those values. People cheat themselves without knowing what they are doing. Oh, my goodness! And if they don't know what they are doing, what do you expect? Things will go out of control, which could end up as a disaster that even would destroy the whole planet...

Somebody has to stop this. Somebody has to be able to stop this. However, one thing bothering is why God allow these things to be happening. If God is allowing these cheating to continue, knowing (I believe He knows them) what's happening, but for some reason (which is beyond my understanding) He wouldn't dare to intervene and stop them, then, what should be my attitude towards that?

At least I should first say, "Thank you God for the cheating" and then I should try to figure out what is God's Will behind it, and what is my role which He expects me to fulfill in this situation. I somehow do need to develop my deep relationship with Him in following the right path. It is easy to say "follow your conscience" but if I don't have a clear idea about what it means, these terms are also so easy to be used by someone (such as "religion") for its particular (organizational) intention and direction, which may not be the right direction from God's viewpoint...

Anyway, even though you are cheated, don't just cheat back reactively, but follow the right way. As long as you go the way which your conscience agrees, the history is with you, so is God.

Thank God for my weakness!

Everyone has his own unique weakness, which he/she may not be very inspired to even think about.
Because of such weakness, he/she may tend to accuse himself/herself, or hate himself/herself, and get disappointed about himself/herself, and even curse God for that weakness, ending up being unhappy.

However, let's say what if I didn't have such weakness? Weakness has some good aspects:
* because of my weakness, I can understand the heart and situation of other people who also struggle with his own unique weakness, which may help me to have a heart of empathy.
* because of my weakness, I can pray and think about God's heart and situation when He had to deal with his children having their unique problems throughout the history, which may help me to connect to God's deep heart and unconditional love behind

Therefore, when you think about if you didn't have such unique problem, you may find the reason why you should thank God for your weakness.

Thank God for being misunderstood?

When you are misunderstood by someone, can you be grateful about it?
And what if it is totally unreasonable no matter from what perspective you think about it?
And what if that misunderstanding might hurt other people also?

Should I find out the cause of that misunderstanding and make effort to correct it?
...which might also cause some other people to possibly get hurt...

First, I need to control myself not to react to that.
If possible, just say, "Thank you, God for what's happening."
Then I need to try to see from higher perspective (such as seeking for God's perspective) ...nothing happens by chance; there must be some meaning and purpose for that, through which I may need to get some message from Heaven, such as to make some change in my life, or, to deepen my understanding about His situation and heart

Then based on that, I follow my conscience to figure out what is the right way to deal with it.

Hmm... am I right?

Thank God for the bathroom again

Bathroom is a place where you can forget about other things and find peace of mind. They did a good job when they named it as a "restroom."

First I thank God for this peace, warm shower, etc.

Then I realize that not everyone can enjoy this luxury.

Then I say, who am I that God allow me to enjoy this luxury?

Then I realize that I have a duty and obligation for the fellow human beings, and humbly determine to live for others more.

My conscience, though, will not allow me complete peace until all mankind can live in peace.

Anyway, thank God that I am still alive, and I still have a chance...

If someone tricks you, you treat him

Sometimes somebody may trick you. That's usually not easy and you may be tempted to react. However, do not immediately react and try to trick back. That might hurt you more.

Treat that person as an agent from God. That might be the right thing to do, and that might be a God-given chance for Him to claim you as his own. (as well as making a first step to help that person as your brother)

Anyway, as long as you see your life as a drama, and you as the hero of the drama, that might be what you would want to do... and your audience is God.

Thank God for conscience!

And I think we should not forget that everybody has conscience, which is working 24/7.

When someone is hurting you, you should trust that person has his/her own conscience. Nobody is happy when he/she is hurting someone. His/her conscience knows clearly what he/she is doing is not good, and then it gradually begins to move that person for repentance and change.

I need to believe this at the peak of getting hurt. It's not easy, but just wait and see, with absolute faith in his/her conscience, and my own continuous investment to inspire his/her conscience... we will see the outcome.

In a way, this is a kind of course which maybe our Father, God may have been going through throughout our history, which, of course, we don't know so much anyway... but, there is possibility...

Then, in that pinnacle, I could open myself to God, reporting to Him what I am trying to do, asking Him what He has been doing, and seek the way to communicate with Him in deeper way (communicate through our heart). Then I believe the living God will pay attention to what I'm doing and respond to me accordingly. Wasn't it written in the Bible that God sees something done in secret and He rewards accordingly? I think it's worthwhile doing that.

Anyway, thank God that He gave all of us that conscience. As long as we have conscience, there is always a hope.

Also, whatever I am going through may be something that I am causing someone to go through. Therefore, it is always good to humbly reflect on it. Just I need to get myself ready for another shock.

If a lot of shock treatment can after all change me to be a better person, then why do I need to complain about it?

Anyway, I am the hero of the drama. I am the one to make a choice and decision...

Thank God for our "hells"!

Sometimes we go through hell in our lives. Some people may hurt you; some people may misunderstand you; some people may betray you; etc....

Nothing happens by chance, however...

And God is love all the time.

It is because of God's love, these things may happen to me. This is something God Himself may have been through... If I were to be His child, do I not want to understand Him--especially deep part of His heart? He allows me to taste it even a little bit through my "hell" experiences--because He loves me.

Then I realize how much I do not care about Him in my daily life! If I were to be His child, do I not want to always pay attention to what He does and what He says? I realize that I live my daily life totally forgetting about God--living just by myself, relying on my own self. How terrible is that!

Thus, it is God's love that He gives us once in a while chance to remind ourselves of our desire to live with God, thinking about how He feels, and what He says...

through our "hells."

Thank God for the hells!

Thank God for the toll-booth!

As I was driving today, I realized that the toll booths are my favorite spots, which often have been causing me to get upset. There are so many variety of these toll booths throughout US freeways and highways. When I am approaching some unfamiliar toll booth, it makes me nervous, worrying whether I would be successfully pick the right booth to enter. (since I always don't have EZ-Pass)

Today, however, I realized that I shouldn't allow this situation to continue anymore. Instead of I becoming the master of the toll booth, the toll booth has become the master of my temper. I determined to change this situation. I asked to myself what I should do first. Answer started to come:

* First, I should thank the toll booth--think about it, what could you do without the toll booth? You could not even enter into the tollway without the toll booth. Only because of the toll booth, you are able to enter into the tollway. Oh, my God! I didn't realize that. I just took it for granted.

* I am in charge of my life. That means that I am the one who need to make a choice which way to go. Now, look at a toll booth. They are even giving me different options that I can choose. They are even explaining the character of each booth so that I can make a right decision. They are there to help me go the right way. Oh, my goodness! I need to really thank them.

Somehow today, even though I passed through many sets of toll booths, I never got upset, but instead toll booths helped me to remind me of the importance of gratitude. Thank you, God!

Say and Do

It is so amazingly different--saying things and practicing (doing) them.

It is easier to point out the problem--what is the problem and what needs to be changed. However, it seems that to apply that to myself, which is, to practice that and make a change in myself, is so difficult, or, challenging.
Hmm...

There is a trap for those who give lectures. When he prays and receives inspiration from Heaven, it is easy to speak out feeling that God wants to deliver this message to the people through me--this is the message they need for their benefit. However, many times the case is that I am the very person who needed that message--who needed to humbly receive the message and practice it and change myself.

There is a trap. It is so tricky that I have a tendency to fail to be humble before that message for some reason--I treat lightly God's words coming out of my mouth because it is coming out of "my" mouth. This sort of arrogance is a problem... I will be trapped.

You can easily tell that someone is self-righteous and easily fail to check yourself how self-righteous you are.

Thus, the conclusion is always that I am the one who needs to change first. This is something nobody else can do but me. When I do it, however, that would benefit others as well as myself.

Japanese dramas not bad either

What I learned was:
* it is important to listen to not just one side but the other side in order to have correct understanding about the matter
* honesty is very important, especially being honest to yourself/your own conscience
* hatred would cause more hatred; be careful before you say things or act--first make sure where it is coming from (what my motivation is)

These are universal truth. But when they are expressed through the form of drama, it might give more powerful effect than the same content delivered through the lecture. We should not underestimate the power of movie, which can give emotional and visual impact.

"My audience is God"

A famous Japanese singer, Haruo Minami would always say when he appeared on the stage, "My audience is God!" ("Okyaku-sama wa kami-sama desu.") No matter how great a singer is, if nobody comes to listen to him, then what's the value? Therefore, for a professional singer, the most important thing is the audience. Therefore, he said that his audience is God.

However, today I realized that this could carry another very different meaning. I am living my life like a drama. And my audience is God. If I act according to my conscience in each given situation, that would stimulate him and inspire him. He would feel his core nature reflected in his child and would feel joy. When he feels joy, I also will feel joy. Is it not the purpose of our existence? I didn't create myself. As long as I am the one who was created, I should find and align myself to the creator's design. That will be the way to happiness.

Today's bathroom inspiration: Don't expect

I realized that the reason of our unhappiness is that we "expect"
Suppose I expect someone to give me something. When that thing is not coming, then the unhappiness comes about. But if I keep giving, and not expect anything in return. Then I will find joy in giving, and if something returns, then that will give me unexpected additional joy.

I believe this is one secret of human relationships. When I give without expecting anything, what I am doing is, in fact, what God has been doing. I am establishing the common base with Him, which naturally will allow me to be involved in deep relationship with Him. And that relationship would provide me an eternal source of giving.

With this, I will even discover how to find joy in the midst of suffering--by doing thing together with God--not by myself.

So, don't expect. Just keep giving. (by don't forget to do it together with God)

Risk my life --another theme from K dramas

When you risk your life for someone/something, then unexpected force will be involved and then unexpected outcome (sometimes referred to as "miracle") will come out. This phenomena is recognized throughout the world among all different faiths. This is the universal law. How powerful it is to risk my life. I prefer to see it, though, not just as force working, but as some heart which has influence on force working behind. You could call it as God.

This is an experiential knowledge. The chances will be provided in my life to put my life on something, so that I can experience this. We always have a choice to do it or not, though. Thus, how important is our choice! When that moment comes, we need to make a right choice. In order to do so, we need to take every moment of our life seriously as the preparation for that one single moment--which is: to live a life of following my conscience without compromising, or you could say--always talk to God, discuss with him before, or as (after, too) we do things.

As long as I live my life this way, there is always possibility of making my audience (especially God) moved to tears. That will be his joy, as well as mine. Then whatever people say would not affect me. Whatever situation comes up would not stop me from going this way. Every moment will become a learning moment, precious moment, and I will find peace and happiness, as well as gratitude and humility. This is an amazing privilege as human being. I am the one who owns my life, who can decorate my life.

Who is the owner of my life?

There is so much to learn...
The most pathetic thing is to blame someone, or to complain about what happens to me. Whatever situation...whatever reason... however unreasonable... however unfiar... after all my life is my life and not somebody else's--I am the only one who can live my life; I am the only one who can make my life valuable.
That's why complaining is a poison, blaming is the best wasting of my limited time and energy--anyway we are tricked (trapped) to do these somehow... life could be so pathetic...

How about this? Complaining is a chance; Blaming is a chance; if I am unreasonably or unfairly treated, that's a chance. I could not buy those chances even if I would want to pay for them. They are "given". Just use those chances to create my beautiful self--which would move my audience--God (and who else...?) In fact, those are exactly chances for us to use our creativity and free will to create our eternal self--which we will carry into our next world and carry for the rest of my eternal life over there.

After all, I am the one who is making decision by my own free will. I must make a right decision. I can do it as long as I follow my conscience all the time. And when I take ownership over my decision, and over my life, how much happiness and satisfaction that would bring to me! I would tap into my hidden value day after day--life becomes truly a learning experience every day. We have so much to learn, and so much to appreciate. Our life is really short. Let's not waste our time anymore.

Utmost sincerity moves Heaven

Another theme which flows through many of my favorite dramas is that "Utmost sincerity moves Heaven." Whatever situation comes up, as long as you stay with the principle and be honest with your conscience, the doors of Heavenly fortune will be opened and you will find yourself surrounded by the Heart of the Heaven.

Strong encouragement of the life of following my conscience with being honest with myself. It doesn't matter what people say; it doesn't matter what obstacles come up on my way; all I need is to be honest with myself, and to absolutely follow my conscience. This is the life of no regret. This is the life of peace and happiness. I hope this principle prevails as soon as possible...

Are you not the hero of the drama?

Imagine that you are, in fact, the very hero (heroine) of the drama, and your audience is God. In different kind of given situation, you would act certain way. What if you have one clear idea in your mind--you are committed to move the heart of your audience; you are going to inspire the audience so that he can find joy, hope and renewed motivation to live. And imagine what if that is, in fact, the very purpose of my existence--to give joy to God!
It's easy if you put yourself in the audience position. When you expect the hero to act certain way, and he actually did! Then you may feel joy. What if he acted totally unexpected way? You may be shocked, but your heart may be grabbed by the hero. Because of how I live, I could even give a shock to God, and even grab God's heart; make him cry; make him feel proud; possess his heart! We have such an amazing potential in our life--such an amazing value, an not only that, it is not just temporal, but for eternity... Oh, my God!

Everybody has conscience. If somebody touches your conscience, you would be moved. If we live according to the truth, that would touch people's conscience, and that kind of life would create the value which last forever. Human being are given such amazing potential to create such value.

Korean history dramas: dream for a nation

One of the resounding theme which I could notice in these dramas was their hero's' (and heroines') strong insistence in realizing a dream to bring one nation in which people can live in peace and prosperity with whole family together and without any wars and conflicts. To build (or to restore) such nation, they are even willing to risk their lives, even to sacrifice their most beloved to bring such nation. And those who love each other so intimately, and deeply somehow holds the same vision of bringing that nation.

This means centered on the same higher vision to bring that nation, a man and a woman longs for each other so deeply. Intimate love between a man and a woman was expressed, but they are willing to sacrifice that precious love for the sake of higher purpose/mission. That makes that man-woman love even more beautiful. (sometimes so deeply sad, too) There are so much deep emotion involved surrounding higher vision and sacrifice. I believe these are in Korean terminology called "han" (deep anguish, pain, grudge, sorrow, etc.) This, though, helps us to live our lives better by learning how to deal with our daily difficult situations, painful situations, with deeper heart, with higher vision to bring our "dream". This helps us to see our lives from some higher perspective.

This "dream" and the penetrating "vision" to achieve the dream is something powerful. This surely will help us to reflect on our lives and make some changes on them.

Korean history dramas: parent-child relationship

They describe parent-child relationship very deep way. When a child shows such a deep love, respect, adoration to his parent, that appeals to my conscience. My conscience agrees this is what a child is suppose to be to his parents; this is what I really want to do to my own parents; I wish I could have such filial heart to my own parents. But it is still not too late, I can set this standard as my goal from now on and make effort until I die.
They also describe how parents love their children. That also appeal to my conscience. I wish I were such parent myself. I wish I had such parents as mine; then I might have been a totally different man. That helps me to understand if God loves me, this is the way how God must have loved me. This helps me to open myself humbly before God and stand before him as my own father.
A person I know found out she had a cancer and she would be able to live for a very short time. She lost hope for her life and she became very miserable. One day she was introduced to watch one of those Korean movies. As she watch them, something happened to her and she began to regain hope in her life. She began to live in a different manner and her cancer even disappeared eventually! She is still alive. I didn't understand why this happened until I watched Korean movie myself. When I watched it, I understood. It makes sense. They have some power. They appeal to our conscience and enlighten our conscience and let us realize how valuable the life is. They give us sense of appreciation for our life, and let us realize the amazing potential of how our life could be lived well. They give us chance to check our own life and restart our life with new determination and hope.

Korean history dramas teach so much...

I love Korean history dramas. I find so many good lessons for life. I can also learn what kind of background this people are coming from. I'm deeply inspired by many points. Here's one:

I hear so many times they say, "songo hamhida" (may spell wrong, but they say this when they apologize) "chugi shipshio" (please kill me--as a punishment)
One story I heard before. Somebody compares Japanese culture and Korean culture. If somebody cheats somebody, this is Japanese response: "The person who cheated was evil/bad." and that's it. But the Korean response to this situation is: "The person who cheated may be bad, but the one who was cheated is not good, either." What I feel out of this is that some kind of sense of human responsibility lies in Korean culture. If someone cheats you, it is my fault to be cheated. I am the one to repent and take responsibility for the concequence. I am not in the position to blame anyone, including the one who cheated me. Whatever happens, I am the one who is responsible and I am not in the position to blame anyone. (even if somebody still have to be blamed from an ordinary perspective) This way of thinking inspires me. If you want to influence people and win the people, this is the way to go. You would even put your worst enemy (someone who so hates you to the point of killing you) into natural surrender by following this way.

Watch out... before insisting

It is good and also it is important to have your own relationship with God. However, when you insist on that as something absolute, especially absolute to everyone, then problem starts. I believe that has been the serious cause of so called religious wars. But, watch out. Although it is easy to point fingers to each religion and blame her for causing the problem, this tendency, in fact, lies in each of us. We need to have a bigger heart or courage to accept the possibility that other people have their own unique relationship with God which is not necessarily the same as mine. There is only one God but he created us as such a unique beings and thus he appears to each unique person in its own unique way. Therefore, if someone else is experiencing God different way from how you experience God, you should not deny it, but appreciate it. Otherwise, you will be initiating a religious war yourself. How can you think that you are the only one who knows God? It is arrogant.

I went to the Colorado bathroom. Oh, my goodness! Of course the bathroom is same everywhere, generally speaking. But I was more moved by the beauty around the bathroom...

Today's bathroom inspiration

Someone really hurts me. I invested my resources for someone not for my sake but for his sake. I gave up many things for him, not for my sake but for his sake.
But, he doesn't appreciate it, at least he doesn't show it. It is depressing, in a way. However, this was what the inspiration says:

I woke up this morning with a good feeling. I said, "Thank you, God, I'm not dead."
"Thank you, God, for giving me this new day--a day of chance, I still can do something to contribute to somebody, I still can grow my heart. Then I thought; yes, there are so many people who die; so many people who do not have food; so many people who do not have place to stay; so many people who suffer from sickness; so many people whose life are in danger; so many people who lost job....

But I have all these things they don't have. Why? Do I deserve it? No way. I have done so many bad things to God; so many times I betrayed him; so many times I ignored him; so many times I didn't appreciate him; I am not a good person who give to the people; I have tons of reasons to say that I am not qualified for what I receive... however, you still have been giving to me continuously...

Then I felt, oh my goodness, God's heart must have been so hurt by me--much more than what I thought I was hurt. But he never gave up, he keeps giving, so patiently, with so much love... And I know he is reaching out to me at the cost of the most precious people of his own. He is sacrificing so much to rescue me from where I am. If it is not love, then what is.

Then I thank God that he gave me this experience of being hurt. This at least has given me some glimpse of what God might have been through. His commitment to love even his worst enemy until the day that enemy finally surrender to him in tears.
With this faith and commitment, God has been reaching out to me. I need to understand his love, and I believe he expects me to also bring this love to others.
I don't know how easy for the feeling of being hurt can disappear, but at least I see a different picture. So, again, thank you, God.

My wife said something profound...

This morning my wife said,

"God's love for us is so amazing. But because we don't repent, we can't access to that."

Yes, I heard that Jesus said, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." When we don't repent, we may be adhering to something of our own selves. When we repent, we will be liberated from that adhering to something of our own selves, and thus will start to see something we couldn't see...

Secret for happiness

Of course everyone wants to be happy, I believe.
As I observed one person, I found one secret to become happy.
Let's say his name is Tony. Here's what Tony does:
* when he talks to store clerk, cashier, tollway attendants, etc. he always add their name in his conversation. The other day when he was paying toll, this was what he said, "Thanks, John. By the way, you have a very nice watch. I thought mine was the best, but yours in better! (John laughed so did Tony) And you have a very nice glass!" (he wore a golden glass) John laughed a lot, so did Tony. He was very happy, so was Tony.
* another thing is, actually already mentioned above, when he talks to people, he finds any small thing about that person which he could praise--such as watch, badge, any personal item he has, physical good appearance, internal quality, etc.
* then with that praising, people will become happy, and open their heart, then he will sometimes move into further conversation eventually touching into some deep part of the person.
Anyway, what I observe is that he is always trying to exist for someone's happiness. With this lifestyle, he generates his own happiness as well as happiness of others. Of course he has his own personal challenges, too, but by investing himself into others, it seems that he gains power to go beyond his personal limitation. Someone told me earlier that the living for others is the universal principle. It is a very simple principle but if we live according to that principle, we have ability to generate happiness in any kind of situations.

re: Judge not, that you be not judged

For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get...

I thought that this was an instruction to follow if you don't want someone to judge you and feel embarrassed. But today I came to a very scary conclusion.

If I judge someone, then some mechanism takes over, and whether I like it or not, I will be put into the situation in which I will be making exactly the same action for which I had judged someone earlier. For example:

I heard Tom talking about Pete, "I wonder why Pete is not listening to the people. He always believe he is the only one who knows the truth." When I heard that, I thought maybe he was right to some extent. But a while later, I noticed that Tom was acting exactly what Pete was doing that time, but the thing was that he didn't realize that he was doing that.

This means if you judge someone, then you will become like the very person you judged, and not only that, you will not be aware of that fact. Isn't this scary? But I don't know if I'm right. This is just an insight that just came.

Bathroom inspiration: I was not alone!

Today I heard our pastor speaking that we should talk to God even in a bathroom. Oh, my goodness. I wass not the only one! But because I was so excited about that, I forgot what he said. I think I will go to the website and check the content of his sermon again.

Fortune cookies again!

I had to take her to the doctor yesterday. It was Saturday and the only doctor who opened was pretty far away. We had to drive for one hour to get there. Meanwhile, my son had to go to get some Chinese dinner to go. This morning I saw a fortune cookie left on our dining table. I was not surprised but that was a kind of conclusion from what I wrote earlier. The cookie said,

...You are the controller of your destiny.

Bathroom and my wife

My wife got flu. She doesn't get sick easily, but when she does, she suffers pretty bad.
As I see her suffering, I almost said to her, "Honey, think about it. Everything passes. You won't be suffering in a couple of days. This moment will never come back. Let's enjoy this precious moment." But I couldn't say it. I thought about Job. When he got horrible sick, many of his friends visited him, and spoke to him. Some wanted to give encouragement, or some internal guidance of wisdom, I believe, with a pretty good intention. But they were not well received by Job. It is difficult, when you are in a midst of suffering, to receive words. So, what can I do?
Then I asked myself, "Are you enjoying this moment?" Of course it is not such a pleasant thing to see my wife suffering in a sickbed, coughing and throwing up. Am I myself really thinking that this moment will pass, it is so precious moment, I must enjoy this? Yes, I realized that this is my chance, as well as my challenge. The test is that how I can enjoy this moment. Of course by myself, there's no point to enjoy it. But if I use this moment to come closer to God even a little bit, then this moment will become unforgettable moment with God. I remember someone said to me, "When you see your wife suffering in a sickbed, instead of dwelling in a sad feeling, you should think of God, and pray; God, when you have been guiding this human history, how many times you have to see your children, especially those who loved you and pledged to follow you, having had to go through many sufferings? --not only being sick but also being hungry, and even being tortured and burned. How have you been feeling at those moments? How much your heart must have been painful and broken as their loving parent? And especially when they cried and anguished and complained, resented... how much your heart must have been broken?" When I prayed that way, then naturally, my difficult heart would be touched by God's heart, I would be liberated from my painful situation, and then genuine love and desire to comfort God would come out somewhere from the deep part of my inside. And I could enjoy such communion with God, which cannot happen so easily without being pushed into certain situation.
Therefore, there is a way to enjoy the most horrible moment. Of course, it is not automatic, it requires lot of our creativity, and you cannot do it for someone else. Therefore, as always, the only question is what I do. How do I respond to my life's situation with using my creativity.
So I thought about Job. He was in such agonized situation, but he never gave up, and finally his heart was liberated when he was touched by God's huge love and heart. But nobody else could do it for him. I am always amazed to see this point--that's why you are so precious to God, because you are the only one who can do that...

Bathroom at a camp: cold shower

I just finished taking shower at a camp. Oh my goodness. What an experience I had!
I don't necessarily like cold thing in general, especially cold shower.
But this camp shower, oh my goodness, is pretty cold. I had no choice anyway because I really needed to take shower, and this is the only shower available at this moment.
I exercised a little bit to get myself ready to jump in. And as I jumped myself into the shower, the word came out of my mouth, "Thank God!"
Then I realized, "Oh my goodness, that's right. I have to thank God." Then I started talking to God. "Thank you, God, I have a shower!--think about it, there are so many people who don't even have a luxury of taking shower; so many people who don't even have access to water itself; think of those who don't even have a security to live; those who suffer from diseases; And those people means my brothers and sisters in the same human family. Oh, my goodness. How can I so easily forget those brothers and sisters and live just by myself? I realized still there is amazing selfishness dwelling inside of me. I say with my mouth, "my brothers and sisters" but what about my real feeling in my heart? Then again, "Thank you, God, for letting me realize my still existing deep selfishness." If I am receiving something which many of my brothers and sisters are not receiving, how should I think about this? I am indebted to them. God is giving me these things for some reason. I need to take more responsibility from where I am to contribute to the cause of changing this world so that those brothers and sisters could welcome a day of liberation as soon as possible...
My conversation with God continued; shower didn't get warmer.
And look! Now my body is getting used to this water temperature, and I didn't feel initial challenge anymore. Thank God for creating my body like this. So amazing body's ability to adjust to the situation, it is so well made.
Then, look! when I finally finished shower, it was so warm! So nice feeling of warmth. I said, "Thank you God for this warmth!" Then I thought, "There are people in this world who cannot access this kind of warmth. How much I'm indebted to them. How much I need to work hard to bring them liberation."
Yes, everything passes. When you are in the midst of taking cold water, it is challenging, in a way. But it will not last forever. It will not even last more than 10 minutes. But, what I'm saying is not just persevere and wait for spring to come, but try to find God in the midst, and we should not miss that precious moment of having personal conversation with God, which we could never possibly do in the warm shower.
What I'm saying is that every moment is passing, that's why every moment is so precious. Every moment is a precious chance to use my creativity (creative nature) to literally create my memory with God, in other words, to create my true substantial self which exists forever.

Everything will pass (again)

Amazing thing is that I still exist here!
I didn't decide to come to this world. I didn't decide to survive at every critical moment in my life. The fact is that I find myself here. Somebody is causing my existence, something is supporting my existence. It is far beyond what I think.
And besides that, I do exist for a reason. This was not by accident. And for a good reason. The reason came out of love--genuine, true love. Therefore, the reason of my existence is in favor of me, my happiness.

And my life here in this world is limited. It is so precious time. Therefore, it is very natural for any human being to think about what the purpose of our life is, because it is so important thing for us to know. Time is limited, but it has a clear purpose which should be accomplished within a limited time.

And the purpose was the perfection of love. Through anything and everything that comes up to me, I am given a chance to create my true self (which is our true substance that exist forever) with my own effort, or participation, to think certain way, act certain way, and by doing so, I am creating my internal self, and hopefully to more and more, in a way, resembling who God is. As the scripture says, God created us in his image, after his likeness. And God alone cannot accomplish this work, he absolutely needs my cooperation to accomplish this task. Of course I myself can never accomplish this kind of thing, but only with the help of God, or working together with God, I am creating and molding myself together with God. How important each moment is! It is priceless. How can we waste our times complaining, lamenting and being depressed and wondering or wandering around. It is so unwise. Each moment is like the most precious diamond. I need to use it well.

Anyway, since it is given, it is a chance, nobody is going to check if I am doing a good job or not, nobody will bother you, it is totally up to me.

These thoughts just keep coming since I was driving by that particular place of my memory--my memory of having the worst flat tire experience after midnight. Amazing! Life is amazing. I shared these thoughts with my wife. She said that I became like a Buddha. Well, is it OK to become like a Buddha? I think so. He is one of God's great sons. He sacrificed a lot to show us the way how we can perceive the world and how we can get rid of our adherence to the limited, material world. Behind what great work he did was his deep love for God and humanity. So we are related in this love--selfless love coming from our common origin.

Everything will pass (continue...)

I was more amazed about this thought:
We recognize things with our "physical five senses." However, it has always been the topic of discussion what exactly we are recognizing. Is it substantial, or is it something like a shadow? As I realize that everything passes, I could say it is like a shadow from a perspective beyond the realm of "time". Our life is like a shadow, in that sense. It is something which never lasts forever (beyond time), but which passes. However, when we think about why this shadow-like life exists, then the conclusion which many sages have already reached is that it is for the sake of our life that continues forever (beyond time). This life, which is sometimes called "spiritual life" or "eternal life" is the real substance of our existence (this exists forever, beyond time and space). For the sake of the growth and maturity of our true self which exists forever, we are given this limited life with our physical body, surrounded by "substantial (well, of course, seemingly) material world, which we can recognize through our five physical senses. Think about who set up this "physical five senses" in us? Who set up this material world the way it can be perceived by us as the way we perceive (hot, cold, hard, soft, dark, bright, smells good, looks good, beautiful, ugly, round, square, painful, etc.) Now scientists are discovering clearer and clearer that the real existence of this world is of so much more empty space than we can imagine. Such as what exactly exists between different atoms and molecules, particles, etc. so much space, but we don't sense those space with our "physical senses" Thus, we come to realize that there is slight gap between the real existence of this world and how we perceive it through our five physical senses. Therefore, the question is who set us our physical senses which perceive things the way they do? And for what purpose did he do it? It is so interesting. It makes sense to me that God had a clear purpose in doing this.

In a way, therefore, our life is like a well-made computer game, in which we need to always react to the situation correctly. If we don't react correctly, things will not happen as desired and you need to pay the price for it. But, no matter how well-made a computer game is, it is just a game anyway. Our life is similar, but it is not a game and I am the one who is in the middle. In computer game, whatever I do, I am still someone who looks at it from outside. Whatever mistake I make, I still don't feel physical pain, and I can always quit or redo, I will not die. In our life, it is very similar to computer game, but the difference is I am in the game, and if I make mistake, I need to go through real pain, even I may have to die physically. But, now think, if our life is, like I said earlier, also like a shadow, which passes, and which is for the growth of our eternal self, it is still very much like computer game. We can keep our position to be someone who is outside. I mean, we may be able to look at our lives objectively even when we are the one who actually live it, and we may find ourselves free of any kind of pain or sorrow which we may experience in our lives.

I just realized I heard something similar before. This world is like a shadow. Everything is passing. Our problem is adhering to shadow as if it is substantial. This adherence is the very cause of all kind of pain and suffering of life. If I can gain perspective about the reality of our life, then we may reach to the level of being liberated from adherence to this mortal world and enter into a realm of freedom and liberation. Didn't Buddha talked like this?

Everything will pass... (in the car)

This happened when I was driving today.
There is one memorable spot on one particular street. One cold winter night around 1:00 am I suddenly got a flat tire. Bad thing was I didn't have any road service I had to fix it myself but the road was kind of slope and I had a very hard, painful time. Then a man from the house near the spot came out and gave me help. It was still difficult and I had a very bad piercing headache I felt like I was going to pass out. Finally with the help of a police, and road service guy, I could change tire and released from the place. It was almost 4:00 am.
Whenever I drove through that spot, that memory comes back. As I was driving through that spot today, one thought came..."everything passes..."
When I was going through that situation, I felt like this was the worst kind of hell. It was so painful and almost hopeless. I felt "I never want to go through this again!" But, now I am passing through that spot, and I can just remember that experience as something memorable, I mean, I can look at that experience "objectively". Then, I was kind of shocked. In that very moment of hell, I thought I never want this experience. But the fact is that experience didn't last. It passed and became part of my memory. It doesn't give me the same pain anymore. So, I realized that every painful experience will not last. It will pass. Therefore, the most important thing is how I go through such moment--with what kind of attitude I am experiencing such moment becomes very important in a long run. Even in the midst of such experience, if I could still think "this is going to pass" and thus manage to avoid getting overwhelmed by the negative thinking/emotion and "enjoy" the event with peaceful, positive and loving attitude, then that will add another victorious memory into my life record. Our life becomes accumulation of such victorious moments, and with that I will eventually move into the life of eternity (and enjoy it forever).

Anyway, the conclusion I got so far is: Everything will pass. Every pain will not last. Therefore, it is so important to have a right attitude when I am in the midst of it. That's what determines the quality of my life.

I have to admit that a revelation can come not only in the bathroom, but also in the car.

Yellow stains on the toilet seat

This morning again I found on a bathroom seat, some yellow stain. I have an idea about who did this. This person knows before doing #1 into the bowl, he has to put the seat up. But somehow he sometimes doesn't do it---maybe out of laziness or being tired.
Then I thought about this: We have rules in our human society. But what are those rules for? Rules are not for the sake of the rules, but it is to serve people's benefit. In other words, the rules are the expression of our love and care for the other people.
But somehow people may have forgotten about this and rules just became rules to follow. Those who follow the rules are generally considered as good, and those who don't follow the rules are considered bad. We start judging people by the rules, and rules became the burden to the people. And nobody pay attention to why these rules came out. It was love why rules came out, but we don't focus on developing love through observing the rules. This is kinda sad situation.
In order to encourage someone who doesn't want to follow the rule, it may not be an effective way to just scold and enforce the rule, but we may need to appeal to his/her conscience by letting him/her remind of where the rules came from.

Coughing in the bathroom

We recently have had a very severe cold weather throughout America. People arround me catches cold and recovers. Somehow, I have had slight coughing for a while, which persists for quite some time.
In the bathroom, I thought about this. Why my coughing doesn't go for a while? Here's what I got:
Maybe I am not appreciating this coughing enough. Whenever I get sick, I have to appreciate it. Whenever somebody gives me a hard time, I have to appreciate it. Why? It is because I may not deserve such harsh treatment. I may not have done any specific bad things that caused my sickness, or my being hurt by people. However, maybe somebody related to me such as my ancestors may have done something wrong, and that has been causing him/her to have to suffer in the other world. If I receive this attack with grateful mind, then this may help them to be in better situation over there, because I received beatings for them with gratitude.
Therefore, this moment is so important. I do have my free will to choose to be grateful, and if I choose that way, that could help somebody to be in better situation. Of course it is my choice. If I don't choose that way, then basically nothing changes, and I may go through the pain anyway.
When I think that nothing happens by chance, God must be paying attention to how I respond to each moment's happening. I am the one to make that moment shining. This is a chance given to me by God. At leaset I lose nothing by being grateful.
Therefore, the conclusion in the bathroom was that I need to appreciate this coughing more, using this chance to enlarge my mind to care about my ancestors, and care about God.

Moment and the bathroom

I heard some people spoke about the fearfulness of a moment:
Those who don't take one moment seriously will lose something very extraordinary. Always great people are those who took one moment seriously. One single word I say, one single action I take, or even one single thought I entertain in my mind would have their consequence. Victory or defeat is not determined in the course of time, but in a moment. If I take each moment that seriously, that would change the quality of my daily life, as well as my lifestyle which is connected into my eternal life in the other world.
Let us not take each moment lightly. Let us not take things for granted. Let us not be indebted to those who already gave us a lot.

not bathroom but car

This inspiration was not from the bathroom, but came while I was riding in a car.
One middle aged man was on the sidewalk. He seems to be looking for a chance to jaywalk cross the street. One car in our front stopped, trying to give him a chance to go cross the street. But, the guy wouldn't go cross the street. Why? Because the traffic on the other direction still kept coming. Stopping for a little while, the driver again started to move, maybe wondering in his mind, "Why doesn't this guy go cross the street? Why is he ignoring my kindness? I stopped and gave him a chance!"
Sometimes we sympathize with the people, and try to help, but not really caring the public rule (or seeing from higher perspective). What if that guy on the street tried to respond to your kindness and start crossing the street. He may get hit by one of upcoming cars or those cars may need to make sudden stop, which could cause accidents. It is good to try to help the people, but not out of your own self-satisfaction (I mean, in this case ignoring the public rule), because it could cause danger.
Anyway, my point is: It is good to want to help the people, but not out of self-satisfaction. We always need to check if what I am going to do would really help this person or not. We need to consider from higher perspective.

Fortune Cookies or Unfortunate Cookies...

As I eat cookies, I felt very bad. How can I just enjoy eating cookies without thinking anything when my brothers and sisters are dying in some part of the world, particularly now in Gaza and Israel? While I say we are one family under God, and eat cookies peacefully without thinking about them, what a selfish person I am! This selfishness is the problem. This selfishness is the cause of whole problems. If I want to contribute to the healing of the world's problems, I better start fixing my selfishness first. This war---cannot happen in one family. We are supposed to be the same family from Abraham. But now Abraham's children are hating and killing each other. What went wrong we lost the sense of one family?

Fortune Cookies! ---don't ever underestimate them.

Many times I found fortune cookies to be so amazing.
Last week when I ate Chinese dinner, I got this fortune cookie which says, "You have tasted sweet coffee before; now you know the bitter taste of coffee."
I was so shocked.
Last month a person whom I really respect told me how bad sugar and cream are for our health. I have always had coffee with sugar and half-and-half before. But she advised me with such a vivid and dramatic way with a clear point and clear proof, I totally changed my lifestyle regarding drinking coffee. I quitted my twenty years of drinking coffee with cream and sugar! Since then I only drink coffee in black.
Now, who knows what I did? During those twenty years, I ate Chinese food many times and I got many fortune cookies, but not this particular one. And just one month after I made this lifetime decision I got this particular one. Isn't that something?
Anyway, things like this happens often in my fortune cookie life.
Thank you, God, for your daily guidance even in the area of fortune cookies.